With it being so close to Halloween I have been thinking about how children make the decision about what they are going to dress up as. Not every child but many make the decision to dress up as their hero. For some children this may be a superhero like batman, or a doctor because maybe they have a family member that is a doctor. I'm sure when I was younger my hero was probably character from TV or a book. As an adult my heroes are my family members. Two members of my family stick out from the rest, my aunt Darlene and my little grandma.
When I talk to people who do not know me and refer to my little grandma I get strange looks. As a young child it was harder for me to call my grandmothers grandma Chessick and grandma Jewell. However, I noticed that there was a distinct height difference. My grandma Chessick was roughly 5'5 and my grandma Jewell was 4'11. So the titles big grandma and little grandma was born. My little grandma is 96 years old and although she has some medical problems she is healthy. A lot of my life she lived up north in Michigan and I did not get to see her as often as I would have liked. As a child I didn't understand why my little grandma saw the need to walk everywhere. Everyday she would walk 2+ miles just for fun. As an adult I am envious of that. I wish that I had the time to just go and walk 2+ miles. It was during those walks that I was able to get to know my grandmother and my family. We talked about many different things, from my dad as a child to the day. Can you imagine living 96 years? I cannot imagine all of the things that you would get to experience in 96 years especially the past 96 years. She also has a wonderful sense of humor and the need to take care of people. Where she lives she believes it is her job to take care of the other people even if they are younger or in better health. I aspire to be like her when I am 96. I hope I still have my memory and I am a fighter just like her. Even though I know it isn't possible there is a part of me that wishes she could live forever because the thought of ever losing her makes me feel like I've lost a hand.
The next individual in my family that is my hero is my aunt Darlene. For as long as I can remember she has been disabled. I can't seem to remember a time that she wasn't in a wheelchair although I scarcely remember a time I think she used a walker although this could just be dream. I know that I have been told what exactly what her diagnoses is but I can never remember. I know that it is a form or related to Muscular Dystrophy. Although I can't imagine what it is like to have her disability she is always in the best of spirits. I know that we all have our down days and that she does too, but I can never remember a time in my life she hasn't just made me smile or laugh from her stories. She has always done things for me and stood by me no matter my decisions in life. When I was in the military she sent me a Boyd's army bear. I kept it on my night stand every night and still keep it in my room. If I could have my way in life and could make any decision about what I would do for the rest of my life I farm and homeschool my children. Until now I have shared the dream with few people but she encouraged me and we've talked about it alot. I would like to say if I had her disability that I would be just as happy and could light up people's life like she has done for me, but I have to be honest and say that I am not sure that I could. I really wish I could out into words what my aunt Darlene means to me and why she is my hero but everything I write or think to write doesn't seem to do the way I feel justice. In my soul I feel very grateful and connected to her. I wish I could spend more time with her. I regret that I do not have the time to go and spend with her and my little grandma. Again I know that no one lives forever but the devastation I will feel in the future when she can no longer be here on this earth is explainable.
I admire others in my family for their different qualities and traits. I will always look up to my parents and siblings and watch them. Yet, even though I have never and probably will never have the ability to spend as much time as I would like with my little grandma and my aunt Darlene they are the heroes of my life. They are the individuals I would like to grow up to be. I feel deeply connected to them in my soul. They inspire me to live a better life and to be as healthy as possible. They are part of the reason I originally started the Paleo diet. They are the reason behind this blog and my food journey.
Until later.
- Christina
No comments:
Post a Comment